Love Grows Here

As many of you know, I love to garden!  One of my favorite things to grow is spring bulbs like tulips and daffodils.  As you tuck those little pods of life into the warm cozy soil, you are hoping for better things to come!  You trust that the hard work you are doing now will bear fruit in about six months when the weather warms back up and the spring rains begin.  I love the view as I pull up to my house in the spring and receive a colorful "welcome home" from all the beautiful flowers I tucked away in previous seasons!

Wouldn't you agree that disciplining children is very similar to growing a garden?  When your children are young you take special care to nurture them and give them the skills they need so that one day they will grow up into talented adults who are able to embrace life and make the world a more beautiful place.

Tomorrow I will be heading north with my family to Bloggy Con 2013 in Sandusky, Ohio.  I am so excited about this opportunity to meet other bloggers {face to face}, learn more of the ins and outs of blogging, and have tons of fun at Cedar Point Amusement Park!

I have connected with an amazing group of bloggy friends and we have some fun planned while we're in Sandusky!  To help us get to know each other better we have decided to bring little goodie bags full of some of our favorite things.  If you know me, I'm an "outside the box" thinker.  :)  I couldn't just give them a bag...I'm giving them a flower pot like the one you see above.  It will be full of my favorite things including homemade apple pie filling, MUGS coffee, a fun ice cream scoop {because I LOVE ice cream}, my favorite kind of hair tie, and of course a few little Conscious Discipline surprises too! 

This is not your normal flower pot!  This flower pot isn't designed to grow flowers, it's designed to grow acts of love.  Whenever you notice someone doing something helpful or kind you put a flower in the pot.  Our goal is to fill the whole pot with evidence of our kindness!

You can make a kindness pot too!  Start by grabbing a flower pot and having some fun decorating it!  I figured out last week how to use my mom's Cricut machine to cut vinyl.  That's what I used to cut the letters.  It's so cool because you can just slap them on there and they are good to go!  No glue necessary!  I added a cute ribbon to each flower pot to give them a little extra flare.  Now all you have to do is fill the pot with something like marbles, rice, Styrofoam, or sand and go to the dollar store and buy some colorful silk flowers to put in a basket beside the flower pot.

Throughout the day at home or school you and your children can be looking for kindness.  When you notice someone doing a kind or helpful act be sure to let them know you saw them.  You could say something like, "You put all your toys away and then helped your friends, so we could get done in a flash!  That was helpful!"  
     

Just like those little bulbs that are planted each fall with hopes of a spring to come, you are planting seeds of love in the hearts of your children.  With the love and care that they find in their relationship with you their roots will grow deep and strong and one day bear beautiful fruit!

Use Sensory Integration to Get the Right Start!

Have you ever had a student that comes to school upset pretty much every day.  They arrive at your door and this is what you see...

Here comes this kiddo who is having a tough time and there are many reasons why this could be happening.  It could be due to sensory issues, a rough morning at home, not enough sleep, hunger, being yelled at, communication delays, and the list of possibilities goes on and on.  The truth is, we don't always know WHY they are behaving the way they are, but there are certainly some things we can do to help them prepare their bodies for learning.

I'm dating myself now, but waaaaaay back in the mid 90's when I first started teaching, I was intrigued by a workshop I attended about sensory integration.  I was so interested in the results they were getting with children by addressing their sensory needs.  I tried some of the techniques in my classroom and immediately saw a difference.  Honestly, the biggest difference I saw was a shift in my perspective on behavior.  These sensory integration techniques gave me new tools to help my students.  I began to see that excessive movement or aggression could potentially be caused by unmet sensory needs.  

This past school year, I had a little girl in my three-year-old class who would come to me in an upset state frequently.  I found myself expecting her to come into the classroom and be ready to connect with me and follow the arrival routine without first addressing her internal state.  At a conference last spring I heard Dr. Becky Bailey say, "If a child comes to you in an upset state, why would you let them in the door?"  Well, we certainly aren't going to keep children in the hallway until the "get happy", so we have to come up with some other ideas.  Since state dictates behavior I knew I needed to be more intentional about changing her internal state. 

In our school, we use a program called Minds-in-Motion.  This program uses a series of movement activities set up in a maze that students go through in about 15 minutes daily.  This program is designed to stimulate a child’s VISUAL processing, AUDITORY processing, as well as their MOTOR skills. The outcome is a better integrated and balanced child who will perform better in school and at home. 

We decide to begin going to the maze every morning as soon as the children arrived.  We didn't even take off our coats and backpacks.  We gathered the children at drop off and headed straight for the maze.  Now my whole class {including the teachers} had the opportunity to disengage their stress and regulate their upset through organized movement.  What started out as a plan to help one child get ready to learn, ended up benefiting everyone!

You know me, I can't leave well enough alone.  I have to add a Conscious Discipline twist to learning as often as I can.  ;)  So, instead of sticking strictly to the maze plan, I modified it to make sure it included connecting activities and met the developmental needs of my students with special needs.  Here are some pictures of us doing the maze.

 

We start by doing Wall Push-ups.  We push with our hands, backs, heads, and feet.  I tell students we are going to try to see if we can move the wall.  We also count forward and backward as we push.  A great opportunity to create a pattern and squeeze in some academic skills.

 

We call this exercise the Electric Slide.  It's basically a side step, but instead of stepping, you slide your foot.  Older children are able to do it independently, but most of our three-year-olds needs some help organizing their bodies.  By holding hands we are also boosting this opportunity to connect with children through the sense of touch.

The Log Roll is usually a huge favorite!  For this exercise we play the Hotdog Game from Dr. Bailey's book, I Love You Rituals.  The child lays down on the mat and pretends to be the hotdog or burrito. Then the teacher or another student pretends to add toppings to the hotdog.  We make lots of funny noises and movements and enjoy this playful time before the hotdog rolls away across the mat!

Climb Every Mountain can be a very challenging movement for preschoolers.  The challenge is to lift one leg all the way over the obstacle while balancing on the other leg.  We really encourage children to complete this movement as independently as possible as it is designed to really strengthen their balance and core strength.

The Puppy Dog Crawl helps children cross the midline.  We like doing it on a line to give children a visual to help them cross their hands over properly.  In this exercise, children crawl in various directions while making x's on the floor with their hands.

It is a joy to watch the children push themselves and increase their skills over the course of the school year.  The Balance Board has taught us many lessons in communication, connection, and focus.  We sometimes hold a hand or two to help children feel safe.  This is also an opportunity to practice calming techniques as this can be a bit scary for little guys.

You don't have to do a maze to help children regulate their state and disengage the stress from their morning.  I have also found great success in using Calming Cream to address sensory needs.  I buy a cheap bottle of lotion and a pump from the Dollar Tree.  Put a small amount of lotion on your hands and rub it on the child's hands while singing a song or making a game out of it. 

Here is an example of a song you can sing:

Bye, Bye Crankies

Bye, Bye, Crankies

Bye, Bye Crankies

It's time for you to go.

 

We also have an adapted bike that we could use to take children on a bike ride around the school.  One of our classroom jobs is the milk helper.  This child would push a small cart that was filled with blocks down to the cafeteria to collect the milk for the day.  This gives the milk helper an opportunity to get in some heavy work, organize their bodies, and be helpful!  It is very important that you include organized movement patterns as well as opportunities for free movement {think recess or dancing}. 

 





Who knows what an Underdog is?  When I was a kid we loved getting underdogs on the swing because it was such fun.  I have had several students who respond very well to swinging to address their sensory needs.  For an underdog I get behind them and push them forward as I go under the swing.  They love that dropping feeling as they swing back and forth with a little extra boost.  Once I get started giving Underdogs it's hard to stop, but I'll tell you what, I will have those children "eating out of the palm of my hand" when we're finished.  ;)  It's worth a little extra physical exertion on my part!

I'll leave you with this...

My bloggy friend, Amy, over at One Artsy Mama shared this photo from her son's new school.  When she questioned the administrator about why they have a slide in the school, the administrator said, "Because, school should be joyful."  They really have the right idea!  We have been called to design learning opportunities for children that bring them pure joy!  Why would we want anything short of that?

The next time a child arrives at your door in an upset state, consider how  you might address their need for organized movement to help them change their state and get them ready to learn. 

Getting to Know You: Fun Games for Children with Autism

At the beginning of the school year I loved to play lots of games with my students to help them get to know one another.  There are a TON of opportunities to work on important skills throughout these games.  This particular game idea came from my favorite Autism Consultant several years ago.   I have modified it so we could use it over and over again. 

Grab an old coffee can, preferably one that will roll easily across the floor {and doesn't have rust or paint in it}.  Put a photo or name card in the can for all the students in your class.  Put the lid on and you are ready to play!

Gather your students on the floor in a circle.  One person starts by saying the name of a friend and rolling the can to that person.  {For children who are nonverbal, we used a voice output device or picture communication board to help them communicate and make a choice.} 

The receiving child opens the can and removes a picture or name card.  They will say the name and identify the person on the card.  The whole class can then greet that child by saying "Hi ____!" and waving in that direction.  Now the lid is replaced and the can is rolled to the child that everyone just greeted.  You continue this way until everyone has had a turn.

This activity offers lots of opportunities to practice necessary social skills.  When children are removing and replacing the lid on the can, they may need to ask for help.  You can use visual or verbal prompting to help them learn to ask for help appropriately. 

My favorite cue is the sign language for "help".  If they become upset, this is a great opportunity to practice calming techniques and wishing well as a class.

Games like this help keep the children actively involved while practicing lots of essential social skills in a functional setting.

Variations: 

1. Instead of rolling the can to the pictured child, have them offer that child a greeting such as a high five or fist bump.
2. Pass the can around the circle in a clockwise direction and use this as an opportunity to practice tapping your neighbor on the shoulder, getting their attention, and then handing them the can.  Inside the can you can place various greetings or movement activities that the children can participate in.  You could also place pictures of shapes, numbers, letters, objects, or sight words in the can for them to identify when it is their turn.  You could ask them questions about what they pulled out of the can or they could give clues to the class and let them guess. 
3. I had a speech therapist that did a super fun activity every year with the coffee can and instant pudding.  She would allow the children to assist her in following the steps in the recipe to make the pudding.  Then she would secure the lid on the can with tape or rubber bands.  We would mix up the pudding by rolling the can around the circle.  In turn, each child would say the name of a child across the circle and then roll the can in that direction.  When the can had made it's way around the circle, then it the pudding was ready!  We didn't eat it right away though.  Instead, we took it to the table and finger painted with it on wax paper.  It was always a big hit!  The kids even got a choice between vanilla and chocolate!

Chuck E Cheese Has the Right Idea

Yesterday I heard a commercial on TV that prompted me to write this post.  It was a Chuck E. Cheese commercial reminding parents that kids grow up way too fast and everyone needs to make time to visit a place where "a kid can be a kid". 

I think Chuck E. Cheese has the right idea.  How often do we expect our children to be something other than a kid?  It's like once our children learn to walk, talk, and feed themselves, we forget they are still kids.  We seem to think that now they can handle the world like an adult and that is exactly what we expect.  We want them to sit quietly at the table and eat their food while using good manners, listen and follow directions, and suck it up when life isn't going their way. 

Often I feel like I am just an "over protective parent" when I look at the activities of the other children I know.  They no longer play with babies, make mud pies, snuggle with their parents to read a good book, or enjoy being playful and silly together.  They seem to think they are too old for that. 

The line has been blurred between being a kid and growing up.  I have had four-year-olds tell me they have watched movies that I won't even watch because of the violence and use of inappropriate language.  Little girls no longer play Barbies and baby dolls, instead they are making music videos, giving makeovers, and playing games on their iPods.  What happened to spending the day building forts and fighting dragons?

 

My daughter, now 10, has always loved babies!  Since she was very young, babies have been her favorite toy.  Over the years her play has developed and become much more complex, but her favorite thing in the whole world is still playing babies.

 

I love listening in on her play as she sets up such complex scenes with her babies and the stories she creates using her imagination.  I know she is working out the complexity of the real world through play.  I hear her describe life while her "husband" is away in Afghanistan serving in the Army.  She does chores, goes on vacations, and even adopts a new child once in a while.  All while doing what she does best...playing and being a KID!

I want to encourage you to think about the children in your home or classroom.  Are they truly "acting their age"?  Have you allowed them to just be a kid?  Reflect on your expectations of your children.  Do you expect them to be seen and not heard?  Would you like them to suck it up and take it like a man?  If you find yourself continually frustrated and see the frustration in your children as well, maybe it's time to take a trip to see ole Chuck E. Cheese where a kid can be a kid!  

Teaching Without Rewards and Punishments

How do you help your children be accountable for the quality of their work without using rewards and punishments?  Are you able to help your children reach goals without using stickers, gold stars, clip charts, and time out?

Since beginning our Conscious Discipline journey, one of the biggest shifts that has happened for me has been learning to use my creative brilliance when disciplining my children instead of relying on rewards, threats, and punishments when my children aren't doing what I want them to do.  Believe me, it hasn't been easy!  I work hard every day to try to bring the best of who I am to each discipline encounter.  Do I mess up?  You bet!  I make lots of mistakes, but I try to reflect and learn from them so I can use these mistakes as opportunities to grow. 

In Proverbs 26:11 it says "As a dog returns to its vomit; so a fools repeat their folly."  This scripture inspired me to help my children and I learn from our mistakes instead of repeating the same things over and over again. 

I came up with a system that helps us give a number to our behavior.  For example, a 1 would be our worst effort.  These are the times when we are tired, stressed out, and just plain ugly!  The 5 would be our optimal performance.  This is when we are in the "zone", connected, and feeling really good! 

These numbers aren't a way of judging, competing, or comparing our behavior, rather a way of reflecting.  This little bit of reflection helps us move into higher centers of the brain where we can access our executive skills and begin to do better.  It helps us define what certain behaviors look like, feel like, and sound like.

The other night my son and I were talking about the quality of his school work lately.  He felt like maybe the work was a little too hard for him and that's why his grades aren't as high as we would like.  As we continued our discussion and we started giving his effort a number he realized that he hasn't been giving his best effort.  His lack of effort, not doing his best, has resulted in missed opportunities and a little bit of disappointment.  This little bit of reflection really helped us get to the root of the problem so we could put some new tools in place and handle the emotions that accompany missed opportunities.

I made a little chart with some criteria on it to help define what each number between 1-5 would look like when doing homework.  I thought this chart might also be helpful in the classroom when students are turning in their work.  They can look at the chart, reflect on their work, give it a number and jot it down on the bottom corner of their assignment.  They could choose to keep the number they have or use the chart as a reminder to check a few more things before handing in their assignment so it will truly reflect their best!   

If you would like to have a copy of the chart you can find it in my brand new Teachers Pay Teachers store.  Just click on the image below and it will take you to the free download.  Make sure you leave some feedback and follow my store while you are there so you don't miss out on any of the new products I post!  I hope you find it helpful!

 

When disciplining our children, do you think it is best to do what we have always done?  If we know better don't you think we should do better?  Isn't that what we expect from our children?  We know so much more about child development and brain development now than we did in years past.  We know that if we want children to learn new information and retain what they are learning we need to create optimal learning environments.  This cannot happen when we use discipline methods that are based on fear. 

 

So, where would your behavior be on a scale of 1-5?  Are you creating an optimal learning experience for children and bringing the best of who you are to each discipline encounter?  If you need more ideas or information on how to create this type of learning environment check out the Conscious Discipline website  and Facebook page to find out how you can learn a better way.