Becoming Your Best Self: One Word

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I am so excited about the New Year!  With the New Year comes prospects of so many good things.  We get to choose our outlook on the New Year and I'm choosing to focus on "Becoming My Best Self" in 2014!  I'm going to DARE to use my SUPER POWERS and rely closely on the PEOPLE around me so it will be the best year yet!

 

I've been reading the book One Word that Will Change Your Life by Jon Gordon.  Jon says that four out of five people never keep their New Year's resolutions and that half of the people have given up by the end of January.  I've never been a big fan of making resolutions for that very reason!  Why set yourself up for failure?  I decided to give ONE WORD a try. 

Jon shares three simple steps for choosing your ONE WORD:

Look in:  Set aside some time that is free from distractions and ask yourself some questions about where you've been and where you want to go in the coming year in all aspects of your life:  physically, financially, socially, mentally, and spiritually.

Look up:  Spend some time in prayer and ask God to help you find the word that will help you become the person He wants you to be.

Look out:  Once you've discovered your word it is time to live it out.  As Jon says, "This is where the rubber meets the road."

Jon encourages you to share your word with your inner circle and put some structures in place to help guarantee your success.  Find some people in your life that can help hold you accountable and who can cheer you on throughout the year!  He also suggests that you take pictures or find a creative way to display your word in a painting, photo, or other visible way so you see it frequently and stay focused.

I was sharing what I had read about ONE WORD with my family last week during our family meeting.  They were very interested in joining me in the process.  I am so excited that they will be doing this with me and it was super cool getting to go through the process of choosing their word with them. 

I want to share a couple of ideas of what I did to help my children who are 10 and 12 years old choose their words even though they have not read the book and didn't fully understand the concept at first.  Here is the process we went through:

1.  Start where they are:  I reminded my children of the movie the Polar Express.  In the beginning of the movie each child is given a different word on their train ticket, but they only get half of the word.  Your curiosity is peaked as you wonder throughout the movie what their word will be.  Each child's word is finally revealed toward the end of the movie.  Now that you know the characters better you fully understand why they got the word they did. (Lead, learn, believe, etc.)  I told my children that the One Word process was similar.  Each person gets a word that is unique to them. 

2.  Help them reflect with guiding questions:  I found a helpful printable by Mique over at her blog called "Thirty Handmade Days".  I printed one out for each of my kids and we sat down and reflected on their answers. They answered questions about what they learned in 2013, what they want to learn in 2014, and what goals they have for the year ahead.

3.  Look at pictures online of words other people have chosen and how they have displayed them.  It was really helpful for the kids to see that there are schools, sports teams, businesses, and families all over the world doing this with us!  It really inspired them!

4.  Make a list with each child of possible words they could choose.  This was mostly a brain storming session that just helped get everyone thinking.

5.  Give them some time to think.  I gave the kids some time and space to reflect on their list of words and see what jumps out at them.  I also suggested that they chat with other family members about their thoughts and get guidance and input from various sources.  Within 24 hours they were both confident about the words they'd chosen.

We are going to do a family project this weekend to help us display our words, but we haven't decided what we want to do yet.  We'll see what we come up with and post pictures of that later!

I thought you might like to see what words we chose so you can be a part of our journey this year.  We would love for you to share your words with us in the comments below so we can encourage one another and become our best selves together!

Back in June I left my full time job to have more time to focus on my family, building my business, and blogging.  I have struggled in the months since trying to get into a regular routine.  I was a teacher for 18 years.  There was always someone else giving me the structure I needed to be successful as a teacher.  They told me when to come, what to teach, and how.  With that in place, my creativity was at it's max!  Without those structures, my creativity and composure flew out the window! 

So, as I started considering my word, "routine" was at the top of the list.  There were a couple of other words that kept flying around in my head as well and I just couldn't pick one.  I kept thinking to myself, "I wish I had more clarity on my word."  Finally, I decided to ask for some help and someone suggested the word CLARITY.  HA!  That's it!!!  That's exactly the word for me! 

As I seek to be my best self, I need clarity!  That's the intent behind being Assertive.  An assertive person sets clear limits for themselves and the people around them.  In order to be assertive though, I need better vision for where I'm going and how I'm going to get there.  Without a clear vision it is as if you are walking around in a fog just being blown by each whim that comes your way.  In order to be my best self I need to clarify my goals and put some limits in place for myself and for my family that will help get where I want to go.

Here are the words for the rest of my family.  (My son was sleeping so we will add his tomorrow).  They each have their own story for why their word is important to them and how they hope it will change their lives in 2014.

We hope you will join us in this journey to become our best selves.  It's not about the destination, it's about the journey!  What is your ONE WORD?

Becoming Your Best Self: Super Powers

Have you ever felt powerless?  I know I have! 

You know those times when you see that chocolate cake and it starts calling your name.  All of the sudden your self-control goes out the window and you give your power away to a piece of cake.

How about the times when your child misbehaves and you try all the tools in your parenting toolbox and you haven't a clue what else to do!  You lose it with them and end up giving your power away to a two year old.

It even happens in the line at the grocery store.  You run in to the store to grab a couple things real quick and end up standing in line for 15 minutes.  You find yourself upset with the clerk and discover you've given your power away to a line of customers and put them in charge of your behavior! 

YIKES!

My friends over at Conscious Discipline have been sharing a webinar series that Dr. Becky Bailey created about the Seven Powers of Conscious Adults titled "Be the Best You Can Be!"  I love this series because it shares a glimpse into the brilliance of Dr. Bailey.  Her life's passion is to empower every adult with the inspiration, knowledge, and skills to implement Conscious Discipline, improving children's lives for generations. 

Back in 2007 I really thought I had everything under control as a teacher and mom.  I was teaching preschool for children with special needs and doing a pretty good job at it!  My co-worker wanted to attend a workshop titled "How to Handle all the Fussing, Fighting, Fits and Tantrums", but I really wasn't interested.  I really didn't think I needed it! 

HA!  Little did I know!

Long story short...I attended the workshop, and it was my first introduction to Conscious Discipline.  I was hooked!  I attended every workshop I could and soon discovered that this program that I thought I was only going to use in my classroom affected my whole life.  It became my passion to share it with others!  In 2011 I became a Conscious Discipline Certified Instructor and began my business Ignite Learning LLC so I could share this important message with teachers and parents throughout the state in trainings and around the world via this blog.

Why do I tell you all this?  Because I would have never believed back then that Conscious Discipline would make such a difference in my life!  It has and I want to share that with you!

A dear friend of mine once said that the Seven Powers of Conscious Adults isn't something you strive to achieve, rather it is the uncovering of who God really created you to be!  These powers are in each one of us!  Life and the stories we've created for ourselves sometimes get in the way of our access to them, so we need a little help discovering them.

Yesterday I shared a dare with you to be your best self by creating a little more cushion in your life that can help you bounce when you fall instead of landing flat on your face.  I mentioned that being a mom takes SUPER POWERS!  We have to find strength somewhere to help us withstand the pressures we face.

Conscious Discipline does just that!  It helps you discover and strengthen the God-given powers you have through the Seven Powers of Conscious Adults. It gives you a new lens through which to view life.

If you don't already know about Conscious Discipline or you are new to this concept please RUN--don't walk--over to their website and learn more!  Hush that little voice in your head that says you already have discipline "under control" or know everything there is to know.  Give it a chance.  It will change your life!

As I told you yesterday, I am going to practice my ability to say "NO" and be heard not just to others, but mostly to myself.  In Conscious Discipline we call that Assertiveness. 

I realized in the past couple years that I don't like to be told "no".  As a matter of fact, as an adult I found myself throwing temper tantrums when the world didn't go my way.  The Seven Powers of Conscious Adults have helped me handle those strong emotions differently and discover new ways to express myself.

I believe very strongly that you cannot teach your child something that you do not possess.  You could try to do it, but you will find yourself coming up short every time.  It is so important that we practice and strengthen these Powers within ourselves so that we are able to model them for our children.  I'm sure you know by now that the old saying: "do as I say, not as I do" won't get you very far.  How about making it "do it this way, I'll show you."

I've included a free printable below with the Seven Powers on it to hang up near your desk or perhaps on your refrigerator as a reminder of how you can "Become Your Best Self" in 2014.  Click here or on the image to get your copy!

What Super Powers have you used today?  Are you willing to challenging yourself in the New Year to practice these powers and strengthen your ability to access them in the blink of an eye?  I DARE YOU!

The Safe Place: A Self-Regulation Station

Think of the last time you were really upset.  I mean so upset that you just didn't want to talk to or even look at anyone.  Now, think of how you would feel if someone that you love very much either told you to "calm down", "stop it", or dismissed your feelings all together.  Maybe you don't need someone else to give you those messages because you're pretty good at it yourself.  When you are upset what messages do you give yourself?  Do you tell yourself your over reacting, being silly, or that no one really cares how you feel anyway?  Do you allow yourself to actually feel the anger, sadness, or fear?  It is important for you as a parent, teacher, or caregiver to be aware of how you handle your own emotional upset. 

 

 

Look at that cute little baby!  Bet you can't guess who that is!  That's right!  None other than yours truly as a red-headed, spunky, determined, "strong willed" two year old!  Boy oh boy there sure are some good stories about this tantrum throwing two year old!  Over the past several years I have come to realize that when the world didn't go my way I was still handling it like that two year old.  Here I was in my thirties throwing adult-sized tantrums.  Does that sound familiar? 

 

As I integrate the Seven Powers of Conscious Adults into my life, I am noticing that I perceive my upset differently and have new tools to help me handle it.  These tools are the ones I desire to hand down to my two precious children as well as the children in my care at school.  One thing that always sticks out to me in Conscious Discipline is the statement, "You can't teach something you don't posses."  The skill of Composure is so essential to how we function in life.  For our very young children it is the essential ingredient to self-regulation and impulse control.  A good friend describes it like a "pause button".  In Conscious Discipline we like to use the skills of Active Calming and Pivoting to help us create that "pause" so that we are more likely to respond  to life events from the higher centers of our brains than react out of the lower centers.





One of the structures we use in Conscious Discipline is the Safe Place.  The purpose of the Safe Place is to give a child (or adult) a space where they can calm down and regulate their feelings safely.  This structure helps us teach children the necessary tools so that they can have the "pause" button that I'm referring to.  They have the opportunity to calm down, name their feelings and then work toward a solution either on their own or with the help of an attuned adult. 

Space for Calming Down

 

The Safe Place looks very different for Infants and Toddlers as well as children with special needs.  With the youngest children the Safe Place is created on the chest or in the lap of a composed adult.  The adult must possess the skills to calm themselves down so that their state can regulate the state of the baby.  As the adult breaths and begins to calm it will allow them access to higher centers of their brain so they can give the best of who they are to helping the child regulate.  We break the process down into much simpler developmentally appropriate steps according to the age or needs of the child.

 Feeling Buddies Curriculum

 

The Feeling Buddies Curriculum by Dr. Becky Bailey helps teach children and adults the skills necessary for self-regulation.  Once you have introduced necessary skills for children to begin using the Feeling Buddies and understand the Five Steps to Self-Regulation you will really begin to see a difference in not only how the children handle their upset, but the adults as well!

Check out our Ribbon Cutting Ceremony.  This little boy is one that has had quite a journey toward learning self-regulation.  He was very resistant to any type of calming technique that we used with him, but with lots of patience, teamwork, and creativity, we have moved forward to a place of celebration because he now has skills he can use to help him manage his emotions.  We gave him the honor of cutting the ribbon and giving the children a tour of the Safe Place not only because he has become such a pro, but also because it was a great opportunity to increase his skills.  Teaching and learning go hand in hand. 

Stay tuned for more details about our Safe Place like what tools we use, breathing techniques, class books, and more great video clips!