Family Vacation: Reconnecting and Writing Our Story

What's your family story?  When you look back on your childhood what do you remember?  I realized recently that due to the level of stress in my life I had lost access to some of the happy memories of my childhood and young adult years.  Since quitting my full-time job back in May and following my passion to teach Conscious Discipline and ignite a passion for learning in others, my stress has decreased tremendously!  I have begun to remember little things that I haven't thought about for years! 

 

I was out at my mom and dad's house recently helping them with a rummage sale and began to get feel very sad.  I saw them giving a price to things that I thought were priceless (although I know you can't keep everything).  One particular item was a plate that my Aunt Nellie had purchased when she took my dad and his siblings on vacation out West.  I also saw items that my Grandma and Grandpa had purchased when they had traveled abroad.  They loved to travel!  Suddenly, I found myself deep in the memories of my childhood and how I couldn't wait to hear the stories and see the pictures when Grandma and Grandpa returned from another vacation.  It seemed like every time I turned around another memory came rushing back.  I wanted to soak it up and bask in the warmth of those days of my childhood.  I began to feel such joy as those memories flashed by so vividly and I remembered my roots.  These people have created a legacy for me and my family and stories that will continue to be told over and over to future generations. 

Do you love to travel or would you rather just stay home and stick to the routine?  In October our family took our first BIG family vacation.  We were gone for 7 days, flew, and even went international!  We had been planning the trip for months, but I have to admit that all the details involved stressed me out just a wee bit!  :)  I want to share this story with you today because we learned some very valuable lessons on this vacation and made some memories that I hope we will never forget! 

 

(Ik-Kil Cenote in the Yucatan)

Back in December 2012 I was flying home from a training in Florida and was given the opportunity to bypass my overbooked flight in exchange for 2 fee air tickets anywhere that the airline flies!  I jumped on the chance!  In my mind this was going to be a great chance for hubby and I to get a much needed vacation away by ourselves to relax and have some fun together ALONE!  :)  When I shared the news with hubby his mind instantly went to the possibility of a FAMILY vacation!  AHHHHHH!

 

We started looking for possible destinations and found a great resort location in Cancun, Mexico through an online travel agency called Government Employee Travel Opportunities.  Since I was a teacher and hubby works for local government we qualified for this great program!  They give you deals at unused time shares and the prices are unbelievable!  The resort we ended up booking was all inclusive and the kids got to stay and eat for FREE!  We couldn't beat it!  I was convinced that it would be a great experience for the WHOLE family and began finalizing the plans.  Our whole family was so excited about this trip (including my husband)! 

With tickets and passports in hand I began researching information about traveling with children.  This was going to be the first time my children had flown and my husband hasn't flown in over 20 years!  I know them well enough to know that it is best to prepare them in advance for new experiences to help them handle the anxiety of the unknown.  One thing I kept reading over and over again was that no matter what happens when you are traveling with children ALWAYS KEEP YOUR COOL.  Sounds easy, right?  Well, not so much!

Here's a couple of things I did to help everyone prepare:

1.  I showed the kids and hubby several short videos and photos of what it's like to fly.  I also showed them what it would be like to go through security and check-in.

2. I started packing about a week before our departure so I could have a clear mind while packing.  I know from past experience that when I pack at the last minute I tend to throw in unnecessary items just because I am so anxious.  When I am anxious I tend to over prepare.

3. We looked at pictures of the resort and the activities they offered so we would know what it was going to be like when we got there.

4.  We packed several snacks, some gum, and stocked up on iTunes songs, games, and videos for the kids to entertain themselves with while we traveled.  My daughter's favorite activity was drawing and playing games on a small dry erase board we brought along.

5.  I sat down with my husband and discussed the importance of the two of us working as a team and keeping a handle on our anxiety and stress levels while we were traveling.  We needed to be a united force.  :)  Hubby was definitely on board as usual!

When the big day finally arrived I was prepared mentally and physically (with everything but the kitchen sink) and yet, I found myself feeling very anxious and stressed.  I was trying to breathe and stay calm, but my heart was racing and the clock was ticking.  Here I was, the experienced traveler, and my family was depending on me to answer their questions and get them to their destination safely.  There were so many unknown factors along the way and I could feel my stress level rising.  I kept thinking in my mind "stay calm, stay calm", but I felt very edgy and snippy (as my husband would say).  Even though I didn't reach my goal of staying "completely calm no matter what happened" I did do very well at redirecting my thoughts and keeping my cool much better than I would have in the past.  I found it very helpful to have the mantra that I have learned in Conscious Discipline to help me adjust when I felt stressed.  "I'm safe, keep breathing, I can handle this."  It really helped me accept whatever came my way, adjust the sails, and keep going!

We arrived in Mexico and honestly, the first 3 days of our vacation were VERY stressful.  We were in a foreign country, didn't speak the language, learning to use a different form of currency, and trying to figure out which food was safe to eat and what to steer clear of.  Dinner the first night in the resort was a disaster!  The food was served buffet style and the staff was super generous with drinks and service, but by this point everyone was hungry, tired, and pretty stressed from a day of travel.  The table manners that were displayed that night seemed like a circus side show at best.  It was out of control!  I have to admit, I was questioning my decision to even leave the house!  LOL!  I took a lot of deep breaths and tried to empathize with my children knowing how different and stressful this was for them too!

(Here they are a few days later...perfect angels!  Aren't they cute!?!) 

The next morning, once everyone was rested and fed, we had a family meeting and let them know what was expected at the table for the rest of the trip.  They did very well from that point on.  In fact, our son told us on our last night how proud he was of himself for keeping his knees off the table all week!  He set a goal for himself and reached it!  We were even able to enjoy a fancy 5 course lobster dinner on the last night of vacation in a relaxed, fun, loving environment!  What a difference from the first night!  It really helped to lay out our expectations and create a relaxed environment to help everyone feel comfortable and enjoy the meals.

 (Look Mom!  Flaming zucchini!)

By day three of our vacation we were all much more relaxed and really enjoying our time away.  We knew we had made the right decision.  Everything was becoming more familiar and safe.  We knew the routine at the resort, found some foods we loved, and met many friendly and helpful people.  My husband and I agree that one of the best things about this trip was truly having no real responsibility.  The biggest decision we had to make was where to eat, whether to go to the beach or pool, and when we had all had enough sun.  Everyone was laughing more, cooperating, and eager to try new things.  There is something to be said for getting away from it all!  In the absence of stress we were able to relax, enjoy one another, and rediscover our playfulness as a family.

Our trip didn't go perfectly.  There were definitely some lessons learned along the way.  For example, we caught the bus one day to take us to the mall.  We didn't have enough pesos to get us back to the hotel without breaking a $100.  We figured it was only about 2 miles so we decided to walk.  That was an interesting walk back to the hotel.  Along the way we laughed about how this would be one of our memories from this trip and how it adds to the stories of our lives.  It will be interesting to hear how the kids tell THIS story when they are older!  It included more than 2 miles, heat, and a surprise appearance of Mexican officials bearing machine guns and motioning for us to move aside while they passed in their official vehicles!  I could have spent two days beating up myself and my husband for making the decision to walk, but instead, we adapted and moved on!  How do you handle mistakes?  Do you beat yourself up about it or do you forgive and move on?  Our response to the things that happen along the way help our children learn how to handle their upset.

 

 

 (Riding the City Bus is quite an adventure!)

 



 

It was so magical to see the transformation that happened in our family over the course of seven days.  Our relationships were strengthened, we had new found confidence, and we rekindled our love for one another!  It would have been so nice if I could tell you our trip was all sunshine and roses, but the reality is that it wasn't.  Honestly, in hindsight I don't think I would want it to be!  Through the struggles we faced, mistakes made, and frustration we handled we became stronger as a family.  I wouldn't trade it for the world!  It may have been a big financial investment on our part, but the memories that were made and stories that were written are priceless!  Now we're ready to start planning our next trip...a weekend away for mom and dad ALONE!  ;)

 

 

Now that we're back home and we hit the ground running with the things of reality, we have noticed that we are changed.  We love each other more deeply, want to spend more time together, and value the bond we have as a family more than we ever have before.  Our story didn't end when we came home.  Now we begin the next chapter!  We loved the mariachi band in Cancun so much that we decided to be a mariachi band this year for Halloween.  We had a blast as we pranced through the evening singing silly songs, trying to speak Spanish, and making people laugh! 

 



I love hearing the kids tell stories about our vacation when people at home ask.  It's like getting a little glimpse into their stories.  What kind of stories are you helping your children write?  What memories will they have from their childhood?  When we went to swim with the dolphins while in Cancun, they wanted an outlandish price for the pictures of us with the dolphins.  We quickly decided that it was not a good choice for us to spend that kind of money on a photo when we had plenty of pictures in our minds of this experience that will last a life time!  Like the stories of the Mayan ruins from long ago, I hope your stories are monumental and worthy of being passed down from generation to generation!

 

 

 Cheers!  We wish you well!

 

 

 

 

Creating a School Family: Organizing Circle Time

Drum roll please....I promised you that there were some exciting new things coming to the blog soon and here we are!  We are kicking it off this month with a new theme!  The theme will help us focus on particular skills and activities that are related to the time of year and fit nicely into your classroom or home. 

When I was a classroom teacher, I used to spend a lot of time in the month of November focusing on Families.  We enjoyed many stories, activities, and traditions all connected to this theme.  So, you can expect to find many posts this month based on the theme of Family.  I will also be including topics such as classroom structure, circle time, folk tales, helpfulness, gratitude, sharing, making connections and much much more!

I have the pleasure of working with many amazing and talented classroom teachers.  The idea I'm sharing today came from one of my good friends.  She is a general education Kindergarten Teacher who teaches in an inclusive setting, so she has many children with special needs in her classroom as well.

Sometimes her students struggle to get organized when they are transitioning to circle time and finding a spot to sit.  Sometimes children are allowed sit "Free Choice" style and at other times they are expected to sit on the "Parameter".  By simply adding a visual on her board that she can flip to indicate her expectations, her difficulties disappeared!  She took two photos of her class sitting on the rug.  One was of them sitting "Free Choice" style and the other was them sitting on the "Parameter".  She added some words, glued it to colored paper, laminated it and added a little ring to hang it from and viola!  Problem solved!

Here is a close up photo so you can see more details! 

 

What kind of visuals can you add to help organize your children?  Do you need some pictures at the table to help them know how to sit?  How about in the bathroom?  Do they need a visual reminder to wash their hands?  Young children are so visual!  If you are having trouble organizing certain times of your day, try adding a picture of what you want it to look like!  It's like a to do list for kids!

  

Bedtime Routine: Tips for Success

We have a joke in our house that when the 9:00 hour comes around "happy mommy" quickly starts to fade and her grumpy side starts to come out.  I don't know about you, but by 9:00 my energy and patience is spent (heck, some nights I feel that way by 6:00, who are we kidding!).  If the kids are not in bed and I don't have time to relax and get myself to bed something ugly might happen!

One thing that I have heard Dr. Bailey say over and over again is, "It's not about just getting them in bed or getting them out the door.  It's about so much more than that!"  Many families struggle with bedtime.  It is no fun to have your final interaction with you child for the day capped off by screaming and crying.  We want to put our children in bed filled with love and ready for a good night's sleep.   There are some steps you can take to help you AND your children have a more pleasant bedtime!

Tips for Success at Bedtime:

1. Set a bedtime and stick to it.  As most people know, the body develops natural rhythms and if you get used to going to bed at the same time each night, it will help make the whole process easier.  It's like pre-programming your body for success (the same is true for waking up).  So, even on the weekend, try to stick pretty close to the same bedtime.

2. Turn off the TV and other techy devices at least an hour before bed.  I know there are many people who actually use the TV to help them fall asleep, but the quality of the sleep you get will be so much better if you tune out instead of tuning in!  There is lots of research that will provide the proof for this one!  Use the time before bed to read, play a quiet game like cards or memory, and other fun bedtime rituals.

3. Break down the steps in and decide on your expectations.  What do you want your child to do independently?  Do they have the skills to put toothpaste on the toothbrush all by themselves without making a big mess?  Make sure that you have age-appropriate expectations for your child.  If they are missing skills necessary to complete a task, make the time to teach them or adapt your expectations. 

4. Keep the bedtime routine simple.  Depending on the age and ability of your child, decide how many steps you think they are capable of completing.  Most young children need between 3-5 steps in a routine.  Maximum number of steps would be 7.  Our goal is to help them be successful, so keep it short and direct.

5.  The brain is pattern-seeking, so make sure you create helpful patterns.  If you lay with your child every night or rock them to sleep, be prepared to continue doing that for a very long time.  If you and your child enjoy this time together and it is not a problem for either of you, then by all means continue!  If, on the other hand, you are only doing this out of desperation because it is the only way your child will fall asleep, you are in luck!  Once you begin following these tips for success, you will see that your child is learning the skills necessary to calm themselves and be better prepared to fall asleep on their own.

6.  Make sure you take time to connect.  If you find that your child continues to get back up out of bed after you have tucked them in consider adding a connecting ritual to your bedtime routine.  Connections on the outside with other people build neural connections inside the brain.  Whether you have a prayer you say, song you sing, or other connecting ritual you enjoy, make sure you do it every night.  We are really good at this when our children are young, but sometimes forget how important it is as they grow older.  My children and I have a handshake with a little chant that we say at bedtime.  We created it about 7 years ago and the beauty of it is that even when I am away from home, we can do it over the phone and it has the same connecting effects as if we were in the same room.  For more ideas of how to connect with your children see Dr. Bailey's book "I Love You Rituals".

7.  Add pictures to your routine and practice!  Once you have decided on the steps in your routine make sure you add pictures and practice the routine and steps with your children.  If you want them to put the toothpaste back in the drawer when they are done using it, make sure you practice that with them.  If you want them to pick up their toys before they go to bed, make sure you add a picture of that and practice it with them.  If you want them to flush the potty when they are done...practice! 

8. Celebrate success!  Give your children lots of opportunities to be successful and celebrate their success!  Even if they only do one step independently--CELEBRATE!  When they put their pajamas on (even if they only put one leg in by themselves) celebrate it!  You could say something like, "You put your leg in your pajamas, just like this.  Way to go!!!  You did it!!!"  Continue to encourage your child along the way and focus on what you WANT them TO DO and then CELEBRATE!

9. Believe in yourself and believe in your kids!  Like I said before, this is about so much more than just getting the kids to bed.  It is about teaching them life skills and how to be problem solvers and regulate their behavior.  All behavior has a purpose.  Are they overly tired, scared, hungry, or in need of more structure or connection?   What is their behavior trying to tell you?

10.  Become the person you want your child to be.  I think some of our biggest frustrations as parents come out of our own lack of self-discipline.  I know that bedtime at my house always goes better when I follow the steps listed above, but there are nights that I lack the discipline to follow through and that is when it all falls apart.  In order to have the discipline I need to be able to be a model for my children, I have to take care of myself first.  That means I have to keep an eye on the clock, stay away from the computer myself, and be present with my children so that I can focus on the task at hand.  Make sure that you set a good example for your children by being consistent and doing what it takes to set yourself up for success with bedtime too!

I recently added some printable bedtime routine checklists and books to my Teacher Pay Teachers store.  Here are some pictures of what they might look like. 

 

Click the link for each of the following:

Bedtime Routine Checklist
Bedtime Routine Checklist (Horizontal)
Bedtime Routine Book



Fun and Easy Halloween Costumes

Just for fun I thought I would share some of my favorite costumes that my children or others have worn through the years!  Some of them are homemade and others are store bought.  You can probably guess which ones!  Hope you find some inspiration with Halloween just a week away!

This is one of my all time favorites!  My son is wearing a choir robe and has the mask of an old crone hanging around his neck.  We stuffed a baby pajama set and added some gloves and a hat as well as a pacifier just for fun!  It was a great time watching people react to this costume! 

 

A poodle skirt is so easy to make!  I bought a piece of felt and cut it into a circle then cut a hole in the middle of the skirt just big enough for her waist.  We pinned it in the back to it would stay up, added an iron on poodle and it was soooo easy!

 



 I saw this at trunk or treat one year and about died laughing!  What a great idea!  The child was dressed as a butterfly, but dad was the gorilla!  They put a rope around his neck to make it look like he was her pet!  What fun!

 This is a costume that started with one that my son wore several years ago.  It is the tin man from Wizard of Oz.  We originally took some grey clothes (long pants and long sleeve shirt) and spray painted them and the shoes silver.  We bought a funnel and spray painted it too and added an ax and a little red heart.  My neighbor used the costume for her son (above) and they added some insulated tubing like you would use in heating and cooling and a piece of poster board for the body.  Make sure you find some silver paint for the face too!  This one definitely looks more authentic!

 My daughter was one of the girls from Monster High above.  We just added some makeup to give her an added touch of spooks!

 

My son wanted to be a "hillbilly" in these photos!  He just took some old clothes and ripped them up a bit, borrowed a mullet wig from a friend and added a little black make-up for a beard, put on a hat and you've got a hillbilly!

 

Hope you have as much fun creating costumes as we have in our family!  Since we recently returned from Mexico, I think we are going to be a Mariachi band this year!  I'll have to post some pictures when we get it all worked out!  Happy Halloween!!!  Enjoy and be safe!



Brown Bear Helps Manage Behavior by Looking for Kindness

Usually by this point in the school year you have gotten in to a steady routine with your class.  Now you can begin to expand on some of the social skills you would like to continue to develop in your students.  I like to spend some time focusing on helpfulness this time of year.  It goes well with the fall season of harvesting and being thankful.

Several years ago I was teaching my class about being helpful by using the book, Shubert's Helpful Day by Dr. Becky Bailey.    When I asked my preschoolers what it means to be helpful they didn't have a clue.  Many adults find it difficult to allow young children to have the opportunity to be helpful because "it's easier to do it yourself".  There is lots of research that supports our human need to know that we matter and have something to contribute.  It helps with self-esteem and encourages us to focus our attention on the behaviors we desire instead of those we want to STOP!  Children need many visual examples of what they can do to be helpful!  It reminds them of what to do.   

In my classroom we did lots of activities to learn about helpfulness.  We did role play, took photographs of children being helpful, read stories, and had parents and grandparents come in and share ideas of what they do to be helpful.  We also allow every child to have a job to do in the classroom so they have lots of opportunities to be helpful every day.  More about that later...

Recently, I provided a make and take workshop for early childhood providers with links to the favorite children's book Brown Bear, Brown Bear.  There are so many great activities that you can to connected to the wonderful book!  One of the make and take activities was this printable book that you can make to read with your class and give them lots of ideas of ways to be helpful.  There are also several related activities that can be done with this book.  You can find the whole book in my teachers pay teachers store by following this link.

 

Here is a free printable that you can use to make a class book about being helpful.  There is a cover page for your book as well as a worksheet for children to use for their own ideas about how to be helpful!  How do you encourage your youngsters to be helpful?